Lately I have been really worn out, and this has caused me to become a little lazy. I think you need those lazy days sometimes, but I have had a few in the past week/weekend. :) I think I'm starting to get to the point where I know I'm getting on a plane in a couple weeks, and I'm just ready to be on that plane now. I always do this, though. I always wish time away. I really don't want to anymore though. God's exposing to me this pattern in my life. For example, I was going to attend this thing tomorrow night called "Leadership Vision Night", but instead, I got rostered on to watch kids. AHHH! Okay, everyone knows that I worked with kids constantly back home, so there should be no problem, right? WRONG. Haha, I don't know what it is, but I really don't enjoy Australian kids. They are (brace yourself, I never thought this could be possible either) 20 times more rowdy, loud, and obnoxious than American kids. I haven't actually watched kids here yet (other than on Thursdays I watch babies for Sisterhood, but they don't count), so I really don't want to. I have actually been dreading it, since tomorrow I have to watch babies in the morning, go to class, then walk back in a couple hours to serve again in kids.
This morning, though, God really showed me something. Today we had Chapel, and the whole thing was just worship. I kind of felt like God was just saying that if I want to be in ministry that I had better get used to it. But I told God, "I don't know if I can be in the ministry then." Haha. Just being real with God. I'm like, "How do people do it...and still have a good attitude?" God just kept reminding me that His strength can be my strength. I am realizing today that I am wasting alot of time here, if I'm not spending time with God. I haven't been spending time with God lately, to tell you the truth. I think I'm hiding from Him...maybe from responsibility..I don't know. But why am I here if I'm not spending time with God? I came here for God, directed to come here by God...so what the heck am I here for, other than a few laughs, good relationships, and good times, if I'm not getting to know the One who holds my future in His hands. I'm really here in vain. I'm wasting time. I'm doing nothing. I'm being unproductive (is that a word?). Today I decided that no matter how hard it gets, or how much I get worn out, I am just going to tell God how I feel, and press in. My heart really does crave to learn. I am learning guitar, and I'm intrigued by it. I always want to learn how to do more with it. I have about 10 books on my bookshelf that I "plan to read", many of them I've already started reading. Haha. Seriously, I think it's time for some discipline in my life. God teaches you so much about yourself when you're on your own. I'm ready to apply what I'm learning.
P.S. My computer is fixed now for those who knew it was messed up. Turns out the antivirus that I had been prompted by what looked like Windows to buy was actually the virus itself. Ha. Watch out for "Windows AntivirusPro 2009". It's a fake! This has happened to alot of people lately.
***IMPORTANT!: My friend that I talked about having cancer a couple blogs back is going in for surgery this Thursday, Nov 20 at 7:30AM. That's Illinois time, so if you are in SC, her surgery is at 8:30am. If you're here in Sydney, it will be 12:30AM Friday, 21 Nov. Please keep her in your prayers! If we could all join in prayer (not necessarily at each other's sides, but how powerful would our simple prayer be, if lots of other people around the world and country were praying simple prayers as well!?) at her time of surgery, that would be really great! Seriously, God's gonna move so much...let's make sure we all at least lift up a prayer at the time of her surgery. If you're going to be asleep, just pray for her before you go to bed, whether that's the night before or 2 hours before (depending on which side of the world you live). This is part of the email she sent me: "please please please pray because i am sooo scared"
I can't urge you enough to be praying for her! YOUR prayer matters alot! Thanks so much everyone!
Love y'all! :)
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