Follow-up, and some NEWS!

Just a few clarifications and corrections on my last blog. Robert and April aren't moving in with a married couple. They are moving in with Jill. She went to Seacoast as well back in Charleston. Her and I used to sing together on the high school worship team. Also, the reason they didn't say anything to me about moving is because Joy (the accomodation coordinator) never gave them a final answer about whether or not they had a house before she emailed me and Kate about it.

Anyways, sorry to anyone that walked away from my last post depressed. Haha. It was a very rough day. I will be honest with y'all though on here. I definitely want y'all to know what's really going on in my life. Sometimes life doesn't look so good, but the awesome thing is God ALWAYS is. 2 Timothy 2:13 says, "If we are faithless, He will remain faithful, for He cannot disown Himself." I just love that verse. I mean, when we have no faith, he still believes in us. He still stands beside us. He remains faithful, as a husband should to his wife. (That's why He sometimes refers to us as His bride) And the last line is amazing: He cannot disown Himself. It goes back to how we are made in the likeness of God. How we are his kids. He is our dad. He is the Perfect Dad. He remains faithful to us even when we have lost hope, because He can't just leave His children. He's such a good God, such a good dad.

Okay, so I wrote that whole part above just the other day, and saved it to my drafts here on my blog. I didn't have time to finish what I was going to say and publish it. With that in mind, let me go ahead and tell you what God did the next day.

I received an email from Joy yesterday afternoon, saying this:

Hi girls!!

Just to let you know that I have found a house in Bella Vista for you!

It will only be available in the next 2 to 4 weeks (the owner hasn't decided how quickly he can move out yet) but definitely soon!

So - you don't need to start packing yet, but be prepared to start when I give the signal.... (i'll give you a couple weeks notice!)

It's an amazing house - and it's MASSIVE, so there will be around 11 of you in there all together eventually.

The lease isn't signed yet, but I have spoken with the owner and it is 99% going to happen in the next 2 to 4 weeks.

Yay Bella Vista!

At first, I wasn't too happy about this, because of the "ELEVEN GIRLS" part. I met one of the other girls I would be living with today though, and she's really nice. I hope I get my own room, that's all I can say!! Oh well, I guess I just have to learn this is college and I need to be flexible. Seriously, I'm also learning to not be so attached to the things of this world, and not to be caught up so much in your own plans. I was kind of excited about not having 4 people in this little apartment, but rather, 2. (I was still sad at the same time though, because we were so far away from people. But I was excited to finally have a quiet house). I really can't complain. This will be good, because I will (more than likely) be within walking distance of the school. I still want to get a car eventually, because I will need to get around (since the area I'm moving into is in the middle of nowhere) and grocery shopping is really hard because you can't take a shoppping cart home, so you have to buy what you can carry home. I am going to figure out all the technical stuff later. Right now I'm just going with the flow. It's so funny how I had all these plans, and now I'm left to relying completely on God. That's how it should be. I was so frustrated the other day with the thought of not sharing my own room, and living with so many girls, and then I realized that I want to go into ministry for the rest of my life. Enough said. Haha. Basically, ministry is the most humbling, most rewarding "career" ever. It's all about being selfless. Joyce Meyer said something like "If you're planning on going into ministry, don't expect to be thanked and praised too often." God's really really working this out of me. I am learning to be humble. I always tell Him I want to be more like Him. We serve a very humble God. He's heard that prayer, and is answering my prayer - He's humbling me. Jesus went through some pretty rough stuff on earth. I think I can manage living in a house with 11 girls.

I went to the healing service Thursday night. It was awesome! It has really really motivated me to speak the Word over my body everyday. They gave me a little booklet that has things to speak over myself everyday. I keep going back to the story of the woman that was bleeding for 12 years in Luke 8:43-48:

And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?" "You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?' " But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

Okay, first of all, it says that she had been through alot with doctors and spent all her money, and she had been sick for 12 years. So more than likely, she had literally tried everything to make herself well. That's a long time to be seeing doctors. I love how even after 12 years, she had faith. Just like Jesus described that if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can see mountains move. She came to Him, with hope and faith in her heart that He could heal her. It also says how she touched the "border of his garment", as the King James Version describes. This means she had to have been on the ground when she touched his garment. That's where the border/hem is. So she was so desparate now to receive healing that she was willing to become undignified and forget what others would think of her. I love the last line: "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering." That's what God's saying to me. God's doing a work, even if it's not yet visible.

Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.
Psalm 103:3

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5

"He himself bore our sins" in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; "by his wounds you have been healed."
1 Peter 2:24

Breakdown

I guess it was bound to happen. Every girl has one once in a while, and I haven't had a full-on breakdown since I've been here. Today, that changed. Lately things have just been really really tough. I know there are probably people out there in college housing that have it worse off than I do, I just haven't met them yet. Haha. On a more serious note, it's just been really hard finding rides, as I have mentioned before quite a few times I'm sure. And just being out in Rosa by ourself is really hard. There's a good amount of guys (but not a ton), but hardly any girls. I actually thought we were the only girls, but I found out today that there are 4 other girls in Hillsong College that live in Rosa. I don't know where, but I might try and find out. Regardless, me and Kate feel really excluded from the college community. Not because people have made us feel that way, but because we're out in the middle of nowhere by ourselves. Robert and April (the married couple that lived with us) are apparently moving out in September. Me and Kate had no idea about it until we got an email from Joy, the Hillsong College accomodation coordinator, yesterday stating that. None of us have talked about it yet, so I am not sure what's going to be worked out with all our stuff (i.e. Will they take the furniture and leave our house empty?, etc). They are moving in with another married couple. I have no idea how they are able to do this still, but it kind of frustrated me, because Joy had told me that we couldn't break our lease since we had a new apartment. So I found out today that the only guy that gives me rides is moving out soon probably too. It was really hard because all these thoughts started going through my head. For one thing, I wouldn't have a ride anymore. I would be taking the bus everyday, and not only does that get really expensive ($6 a day), but that also means I will be getting up super early every day (about 2 and a half hours before class starts). Not only will I lose my ride, but a friend to hang out with. Face it, once people move out of Rosa, you don't really hear from them much anymore. I mean, no one comes out to Castle Hill (the area I live in) once they've moved in the midst of the college crowd in Bella Vista or Glenwood (the two main neighborhoods near the school that the college moves people into). There are other guys here to hang out with, but this guy has been my buddy. I'm closer to him than any of the other guys...probably because we've just hung out more when I'd get rides with him. After I found out that my friends were moving, I got so mad and sad. So much has just been piling up. So I went to Joy's office and she was out for like 20 minutes. I just sat outside crying. A lady saw me and comforted me and then got another lady in the office to come talk to me. I just broke down and told her my situation. This lady set me up to see Joy when she got back, and Joy really helped me. She basically said that the reason they weren't going to move me out was because, as I mentioned before, legal issues with my lease, and my apartment being new. I don't understand it all really. But basically Joy said she didn't care anymore about that, because my landlord was treating me badly. (She really is a horrible landlord) So basically she said she would keep a lookout for an open girls' house. This might take a while. I have no idea. But if she found one, then she would have to look into breaking the lease before anything. But just keep me in your prayers. It's getting harder and harder with each day. Challenges and problems keep arising, and it's very easy to become discouraged. Sorry I don't have a happier blog today, but I just wanted to update everyone with what's going on. Please pray that my accomodation will get all worked out. Hopefully we can move, or I can find a car. Here are some pictures, by the way, of me and some of my friends at the college. We took these today on our 2 and a half hour break between classes! :) Talk to you all soon!

Who Am I?

Well, I haven't written on here in a while. Honestly, there hasn't been a whole lot I could think of to write. I'll go ahead and fill you in on the latest, though. I got my mailbox key! YAY! Finally! So feel free to send me letters and stuff! :) I really love that! Our heat/AC has still not been fixed, but that's the next thing to take care of. I am also on a hunt for a car. The Hillsong bus that used to pick people up and take them back to Rosa on Saturday nights for church no longer runs, so we are all left to fend for ourselves. Haha, it's quite interesting, but God always provides a ride, even if it means scrunching in an extra person or two than the car is supposed to hold. I am still looking for a car though, especially if I am going to move out here in Castle Hill for good.

I finally decorated my room the way I had planned to when I first got here...I hung up over 100 pictures on my walls! Well, I figured if they won't let me paint or nail anything into the walls, might as well do something fun with the bare white walls. I must say it looks pretty cool!!! I have pictures of family and friends and missions trips...so many kinds of pictures from so many different places, all in one room. It makes me happy! They make me laugh. I'll post a picture soon. I still don't have a bed, that's why I haven't taken a picture of my room yet, but I'm not sure when I'll be getting one, so I'll go ahead and take some pictures anyway.

I've been pretty sick this past week. I had a cold/sinus thing. It was MISERABLE, especially at first. The worst thing about it was I was going to school while I was sick, because if I didn't, I'd have to get a doctor's note, and I didn't want to go through all that. But I know where to go to the doctor now if I ever need to. There is a Hillsong Health Centre up the road a bit, so I can go there if I ever need to. But anyways, I am getting better now. I'm pretty much almost over it. I took it easy today. Rather than going out to Street Teams early this morning and doing choir tonight, I just rested (and went to the grocery store, beacause I desperately needed to. haha) and then attended church, which was AMAZING! It was about the power of speaking the Word. So good!

God is showing me so much about myself since I've been here. I am coming to realize how much I need Him, how much I need to know who I am in Him. People often say that they don't know who they are. Well, all you have to do is open the Bible. As a Christian, I am a child of God:

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. -1 John 3:1

I am an heir of God, and a co-heir with Jesus (basically, I have authority over evil, as God does. That's how significant this verse is!..notice though how it does say that we must suffer in order to share in His glory):

Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. -Romans 8:17

I am blessed:

Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven,whose sins are covered. -Psalm 32:1

I am new:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! -2 Corinthians 5:17

I am free from the bondage and chains of sin:

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. -Romans 8:1-2

I am beautiful:

I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way. What you have done is wonderful. I know this very well. -Psalm 139:14

I am the bride of Christ (basically, God loves me with a more perfect love than my husband will ever be able to):

...as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you. -Isaiah 62:5

I am made to resemble God:

...When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. -Genesis 5:1

I am free:

So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir. -Galations 4:7

These are just a few things that I am as a Christian. The speaker tonight was saying how important it is to speak the Word over yourself. When you speak the Word in FAITH, you release the power of God. This may sound funny, but check out this verse:

The tongue has the power of life and death,... - Proverbs 18:21

What we say is so important. I am going to make it a point to speak these things over myself. Check out this promise:

God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through? -Numbers 23:19

Many books transform, but the Word transforms. It's so cool for me to know that what God says is true. He never wavers. His character never changes. He never changes His mind. He doesn't go back on what He says. He knows how to keep a promise. The promises He made in the Bible are promises for our life. For example, Jeremiah 29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Pheww, what a load off my shoulders. I don't have to figure out my future. God has it already planned. I just have to get closer to Him, day by day, so that I can hear Him clearly.



(P.S. I uploaded some videos: )

Stand firm, and believe.

So I feel so incredibly blessed. My family is pretty much the most amazing family in the world. I just can't thank God enough for putting me into the family I'm in. It's really crazy how God just puts you where you are supposed to be all the time. For example, for my church life volunteer work, I am doing Street Teams. Last year, God allowed me to work in Street Ministry every other week for 2 months or so at the St. Louis Dream Center, so I now have a little experience (though every ministry is different). Also, I am watching little toddlers for the Sisterhood (which is the women's ministry, in case you haven't noticed by now even though I talk about it all the time. It goes on every Thursday morning). This is really cool because before I left, I worked with kids CONSTANTLY. You know, my job at the gym doing childcare, and then my nannying job. I love love love kids, and I just think it's so cool that God opened doors for good-paying jobs in SC that actually were preparing me for a role I was going to be assigned at Hillsong.

Every little thing that people back home do really really encourages me, and helps me get through in some of the hard times. Just knowing that I have a supportive, loving family back home plays a HUGE part into comforting me when I'm sad. For example - random phone calls/texts, emails reminding me that I have a "fan-base" back home (as Aunt Alli puts it), packages (well, I am waiting for mom's to get here), and just love period. I know, I know, I'm always bragging about my family, but y'all are just so awesome! To my friends at home that read my blog...you have NO idea how much that means to me. Whenever someone tells me they read my blog, it really really makes me feel loved and encouraged. I know my entries aren't always the most interesting and profound...they are just basically my thoughts, and what's going on in my life. Those who read my blog really show me that they want to hear my thoughts, and are interested in what's going on in my life. All I can say is keep reading, because God's going to really do some awesome things. I am believing for healing in my back. I firmly, 100%, no doubt about it, believe that God wants and is more than able to heal my back! Why not?. God can do anything. Not only will His daughter (that would be me) be free from pain, but He will just be glorified. What a testimony that will be to people. I want to just go back to the doctors and show them what God's done. What a testimony. Doctors have just been trained through earthly schooling...not to believe in the Ultimate Healer. Imagine if I could go back to those doctors and show them what the Healer did for me. I think it would pretty much rock their world. And how could I take any credit for such a miracle? Sometimes God does these awesome things, and people have a tendency to try and somehow fit themselves into that picture - as if they are somehow a hero of some kind. But how could I ever take credit for being healed from scoliosis? I'd like to see someone try and do that. Haha. Seriously, God would be so glorified. Lives would be changed. I believe my life isn't the only one that would be changed either. What a testimony.

One thing God's been laying heavily on my heart lately is praising your way through circumstance. Sometimes I go to church and I'm honestly just burdened with the worries and problems of everyday life. But sometimes you just have to stir up faith inside of yourself. So I go to the front of the room with a bunch of others, and praise my way through. Eventually, I am jumping and truly praising God out of my heart, because my faith is stirred up. Faith is a choice. One of my favorite verses is this:

...If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.
-Isaiah 7:9

A Week Later....

Wow, I feel so blog-deprived. It's been about a week or so since I've updated this thing. I have thought about doing it everyday, but something always comes up, or needs to get done. Anyways, lots to fill you all in on.

Well, I finished my LONG week of intensives. All my classes were 2 hours. Now I have just started my first week of official classes. It's been fun. I like how hands-on things are here. The college is pretty informal too. I like that, because you just feel like it's a family atmosphere. Anyways, I am actually at school now in the library. I have a two hour break today. Yesterday I had a 2 and 1/2 hour break, and then another 1 and 1/2 hour break. That's one thing I don't like about my schedule. Things are picking up alot too. I am getting REALLY busy. Sorry to all my friends and family that I haven't talked to in a while. I really really really miss y'all! I especially miss my family. I've come to realize that your family is just your comfort. They're always the people you will turn to, they'll always be there for you.

So classes are going well. I have already started Spirit-Filled Living, New Testament, Worship Band, and Worship Excellence this week. I'm excited to see what the classes will shape out to be like. I was assigned to Saturday night church choir. I already did it once last weekend, and it was alot of fun. That thing I was talking about before, The Sisterhood...I'm helping out with kids (babies to be exact) and doing kids' worship! I am also doing street teams on Saturdays. And now I have to do something called lecture hosting, which is where you help out your teachers set up class and stuff. And I really want to get involved with youth. So basically, my schedule is really really packed. The only day I get off is Friday. Oh what a glorious day! :)

My worship experience since being here has been amazing. I have grown alot in my worship. God has been showing me though that worship time is really dead if you're not spending time with Him everyday. I have been struggling with this. I feel like it's so hard to prioritize. It almost seems overwhelming at times. And satan is still throwing obstacle after obstacle. Just to name a few, I still don't have a bed (that's def last on my list of things to accomplish. haha), my overhead light in my room doesn't work, so sometimes it can be a little dark when I'm trying to get ready in the mornings, or at night. Also, we don't have a car anymore, so we have been taking the bus some, and it's been kind of hard finding rides. So basically I'm getting up extra early to catch the bus alot. We took our car in, the one April and Robert just bought, and 9 out of 10 things didn't pass inspection, the car was illegally low, and the registration had expired (something the guy they bought it from didn't tell them. the registration was supposed to expire feb '09, but since the guy they bought it from got in an accident, it cancelled the registration). It's been increasingly hard to find rides too, because the college is moving a ton of people out of Rosa (the apartment complex I live in). They aren't moving us out though. They are trying to get everyone out of there eventually, and closer to the college. I think after our 6 month lease expires, me and Kate are going to try and find our own place. I've already looked around the area we are in now, and have found some less expensive places. I really want to stay in the area we are in now too, because it's really nice. I may try and buy a car too here after going back home at Christmas-time. That way I could get to and from school. The area I live in is just so convenient and close to everything. The post office is right down the road, and the mall has EVERYTHING - grocery store, clothing stores, etc. and it's a great place to find a job. Whereas the area the school is in has like nothing. People that live around there say it's really hard to grocery shop, because they have to walk a while to get to the grocery store, and then they can only take home what they can carry in their own hands. Being in the area I'm in though, I can just push a shopping cart home. It's so nice.

As far as all the discouraging things go, I really feel like I am being tested. Like I mentioned in my other blog, I have really been reminded of the story of Job. I am realizing that the more I dwell on these things, and the more I get frustrated, it doesn't help me. God can't really intervene and bless me if all I do is complain. Look at Job, he pretty much complained throughout the whole book of Job. Then at the end of the book, God answers him, and basically makes a very elaborate point that He has everything under control. God speaks to Job, reminding him of how everything in the universe and Heaven is under His command. He goes on from chapters 38-41. Finally, Job realizes just how awesome God is, and repents. In Job 42:4-5, he says "'You said, Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.' My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you." After Job humbles himself before God, he gives God room to bless him.

One thing that has really been standing out to me lately when I read passages like this is what Pastor Baird (from my church back home) said in a message a while back. He said he'd rather learn from someone else's mistakes if he can than his own. That's so true. I'd rather learn from Job's mistake. If I know what's right (i.e. not complaining, and just trusting God with all problems that arise), why not do it? I have been learning that faith isn't faith unless you really really just trust and give it up. Just don't worry (the aussies really do say "No worries"...all the time). I'm human, so worry may creep up from time to time, but I just have to daily (well, several times a day) give it to God. When Jesus died, he took on every problem every person had and has, so why should I hold onto those problems? I just picture God in heaven with this wide knowledge of what my life will look like, almost like a map of my life. He has these great plans, and he sees the problems, but the awesome thing is, He sees the outcomes. It's like when you watch a movie that you've seen a thousand times with your friend, but they've never seen it before. Your friend is wondering how it's going to turn out...how is that sticky situation in the plot going to pan out? But you know exactly what will happen. You tell your friend, "Don't worry, it's going to turn out alright. Trust me." I hear God saying those exact words to me everyday. I just have to remember that these troubles are just a small thing, but not too small for God to care about.