Last night, I cried for the first time since I've been here. I don't mean that I haven't teared up here and there, but I full-on cried last night for the first time. I just was so overwhelmed. I remember it being late, I still hadn't taken a shower, I had to be at choir practice the next morning at 7:15am, and I didn't know how to get there. Robert didn't have to sing in choir, so I didn't have a ride. I had to take the bus. Only problem was, I wasn't sure where the bus stop was exactly, and which bus to take. So I cried it all out, and told God I didn't know what I was doing anymore. I knew that God was telling me to rest in Him, but of course, I wanted to figure it all out.
Yesterday, I woke up at about 5:30am to get a ride to the church with Robert, who was singing in choir, so he had to be there early, like I had to today. I just kind of observed the worship team, and just chilled. Classes started at 8:30am. Each one runs two hours. School let out at 5pm, and Robert couldn't take us home, so me and Kate decided to go eat at the food court by the school. We were going to something at the church in a couple hours again, so we thought we'd just save some effort and stay in the area. So we did, and we got to meet some really nice students in the food court. I had some good conversations with them. If it weren't for that unexpected realizing that we didn't have a ride, we wouldn't have met some really nice people.
The event we went to was the Sisterhood night. Every Thursday morning, they have a thing called Sisterhood, where girls and women of all ages come together for some good fellowship and teaching. They put it on hold for the past couple weeks because of college stuff, I think. Last night, they had a big event where I guess they were sort of kicking off the Sisterhood again. It was great! Brooke Fraser led worship again, and it was really powerful.
Well, the next morning I made it to the right bus stop on time, and met a really nice gentleman who actually is a pretty big musician. He helped me find my bus. I chatted with him a bit. He said he wasn't a "religious person". I'm not sure what that means exactly when people say that, because I am not a "religious person" either. ;) Though I didn't really share Jesus with him directly, I believe I was being Jesus to him, and I just remember thinking that I hope some day, he will begin to wonder what this God stuff is all about, and God will cause him to remember me, and find his answer there. Not that I am God, or that I am perfect like God, but the beauty of it is, it's not about me. I don't pray that guy will look back and see me; I believe he will look back and see Jesus. The wonderful thing about being in relationship with God is that when He looks at me, He sees Jesus. That is not said in a prideful way, but it's the whole point of the cross. Jesus died to take our place. He died so that when we go before God, God doesn't see our brokeness and sin, but Jesus' blood, and Jesus' blood is my covering. All God sees is cleanliness when He sees me, ALL BECAUSE OF JESUS.
Well, I honestly didn't mean to go on this whole schpeel about salvation, but sometimes you just can't help it. When you come closer to God, you view things differently. The guy you meet on the bus isn't just a guy you met on the bus. He is an opportunity to show Jesus' love. Romans 12:1-2 (The Message) basically boils it down:
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
It's funny, because not only did God provide a ride for me, but I got to demonstrate Jesus to a stranger, AND I made it to choir practice 10 minutes early. I was the first one there, and my biggest fear was that I'd be late. God hears our cries. He truly does.
Another thing that really opened my eyes was when I was on facebook today when I got home. I saw a recent group posted on facebook, and I couldn't believe what it said. Robbie Owens just passed away. He is my neighbor back home. He lived right across the street from me. We kind of grew up together. I didn't know him when I got older, so I have no clue what he was like, but I do know that as a youth, it blew my mind and opened my eyes. Here I am, about the same age as him, in Australia, having awesome adventures and encounters with God, and then I receive word that back home, a youth about my age just passed away. It just completely shook me up, not because I knew him or anything, but I realized that each day comes with no guarentees. He passed away when he was only 17. I just wonder what future God had in mind for him. I don't know if he had a relationship with Jesus, but it made me realize how important it is to be an example of Jesus to people. It's amazing to me how God showed me this twice today.
God can teach you alot in 12 hours.
2 comments:
Hallelujah !! You made it!! I knew He would make a way!! Praise God! After hearing the news of Robbie's death,it put everything into perspective. Not to minimize the hard things you are going through, but a life was lost. That's the whole reason you are where you are.
Why wouldn't satan come against you? Keep laughing in the face of adversity. That a girl!! mom
Hey Rian! I tried to post a comment yesterday and for whatever reason, it never materialized. Here's try #2. Rian, what a delight and joy it is to read your blog and to see how the Lord is stretching you; making you into that holy, useful vessel that He has designed for you to be before the beginning of time! Everything that He decrees to enter your life has been sovereignly filtered through His omnipotent hand. Nothing happens by chance or randomly! He is purifying you so that your life will bring honor and glory to Him. Many times it's painful, yet He ALWAYS blesses obedience!! Press on and know that your labor is NOT in vain in the Lord! Much love! Only by His grace and mercy, Aurelia :)
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